[Top 9 Funniest Newspaper Classifieds]

Top 9 Funniest Newspaper Classifieds
(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city
newspapers)

1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
(man....if only I knew A B C....)

2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try
us once; you'll
never
go anywhere again.
(sure...thanx for the warning!)

3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school.
Experience preferred.
(in months or years?)

4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come
here first.
(check it out)

5. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of
children.
(howwww sweeeet)

6. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be
willing to travel.
(wow! A free trip to heaven?)

7. Tired of cleaning yourself. Let me do it.
(uh...huh!)

8. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke
or drink.
(hey....who taught cows the bad habit??)

9. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do
it carefully by
hand.
(nice work!)